“The Stones, Man!”
I’ve passed over 297 kidney stones over the course of my life. Well, maybe not that many; that number seems a little high. Let’s say a baker’s dozen. Not all at once. The actual size of a kidney stone is deceiving. After one passes a stone one would at least hope that the size would be on par with the pain. After my first kidney stone, I wanted something the size of a meteorite to show for my troubles. Impress my friends at a fancy dinner in the good part of town. No, What I got instead was a tiny stone that I guess under magnification would look impressive. I kept all my stones and plan to use them as custom one-of-a-kind jewellery. I’ll get around to it eventually.
The last ultrasound showed about, well, she stopped counting after about a baker’s dozen still not fully cooked but baking at even heat. She says I should be able to pass most of them, much like the ones in the past, but there are a few that are as big as a grapefruit. She didn’t say grapefruit but her body language gave it away as she jumped back from the machine with her hand over her mouth.
Kind of makes it hard to plan for anything. She said I should start drinking 9 gallons of water a day.
STONES TRIVIA The Rolling Stones famous tongue logo is said to have been inspired by the Indian Hindu goddess ‘Kali the Destroyer’, although Jagger’s own tongue and lips were surely also an influence. — NME